Sunday, September 26, 2010
Soccer Time
The kids just started a new season of soccer. Porter is playing soccer for the first time ever and Sierra begins again after a two year hiatus. Not much else to explain. Enjoy.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Just lookin' cute!
Today was just one of those days I thought my kiddos looked super-duper cute!!! So I broke out the camera and shot away. Sierra was already at school so she is not in this particular photo shoot. But you can indulge me if you like, and agree. These kids are totally cute!
Here's a couple of pics I'm throwing in there because I think Porter's handwriting is amazing for a little kindergartener. He really focuses on making his letters look good.
He also takes alot of time when coloring pictures, making sure they are nice an neat. I'm sure he gets this attention to detail from Daddy! But I thought these were cute.
Here's a couple of pics I'm throwing in there because I think Porter's handwriting is amazing for a little kindergartener. He really focuses on making his letters look good.
He also takes alot of time when coloring pictures, making sure they are nice an neat. I'm sure he gets this attention to detail from Daddy! But I thought these were cute.
First Days of School
If there's anything in this world that is "blogworthy" it is first days of school. Especially, the first day of kindergarten!
Sierra started school a week before Porter and it just killed him to watch her go and leave him behind.
I was not quite ready to have my kids go back to school. We've had the best summer ever. I feel like I've really spent some good quality mommy time with them. During the summer we read books together, cooked dinner almost everyday, worked together, and especially had fun together. What a fabulous summer!
Here's a few pics covering Sierra's first day.
We made her a "3" pancake in honor of her first day of third grade.
Here she is with her new teacher "Mrs. M," and outside her new classroom. Or as I think of it - her second home.
So Porter had to wait a whole week after all the other kids started school before he got to start Kindergarten. And boy did it kill him! A frequent daily question was, "Mom, when is Sierra getting home?"
Finally, Wednesday came and it was HIS day! We had doughnuts for breakfast and bought him a big school bus balloon. He goes to school in the afternoon so we got to fuss over him all morning.
Jeremy was home that day so Porter got extra attention! As we waited at the bus stop Porter found a small wasp nest on the under-side of the mailbox. Of course he had to detach it and take a look at it! Then... A-Ha!!! He had an idea!! "I need to take it to Mrs. L!" I tried to discourage him from taking it to her because I didn't want him just handling any wasp nest. But I lost out over his intense excitement and he immediately ran into the house to get a small plastic bag. So he heads off to school with wasp nest in hand.
Here he is getting off the bus at school. Of course he proudly shows his teacher the wasp nest. When it is time to go into the classroom, the other children walk and Porter runs. This kid is excited for school!
Jeremy heads in to take a peak at Porter through the classroom door. Here he is unzipping his backpack with his wasp nest on his desk.
After school, I wait for Porter and Sierra to get off the bus. I ask Porter, "How was school bud?"
His yells his answer with excitement, "SCHOOL... IS TOTALLY AWESOME! AND MOM LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT RECESS!!"
He holds up his little plastic bag, the wasp nest is still in there. But now there's something else in there. I look closely as Porter yells, "A BABY PRAYING MANTIS!!"
What a big day!
Sierra started school a week before Porter and it just killed him to watch her go and leave him behind.
I was not quite ready to have my kids go back to school. We've had the best summer ever. I feel like I've really spent some good quality mommy time with them. During the summer we read books together, cooked dinner almost everyday, worked together, and especially had fun together. What a fabulous summer!
Here's a few pics covering Sierra's first day.
We made her a "3" pancake in honor of her first day of third grade.
Here she is with her new teacher "Mrs. M," and outside her new classroom. Or as I think of it - her second home.
So Porter had to wait a whole week after all the other kids started school before he got to start Kindergarten. And boy did it kill him! A frequent daily question was, "Mom, when is Sierra getting home?"
Finally, Wednesday came and it was HIS day! We had doughnuts for breakfast and bought him a big school bus balloon. He goes to school in the afternoon so we got to fuss over him all morning.
Jeremy was home that day so Porter got extra attention! As we waited at the bus stop Porter found a small wasp nest on the under-side of the mailbox. Of course he had to detach it and take a look at it! Then... A-Ha!!! He had an idea!! "I need to take it to Mrs. L!" I tried to discourage him from taking it to her because I didn't want him just handling any wasp nest. But I lost out over his intense excitement and he immediately ran into the house to get a small plastic bag. So he heads off to school with wasp nest in hand.
Here he is getting off the bus at school. Of course he proudly shows his teacher the wasp nest. When it is time to go into the classroom, the other children walk and Porter runs. This kid is excited for school!
Jeremy heads in to take a peak at Porter through the classroom door. Here he is unzipping his backpack with his wasp nest on his desk.
After school, I wait for Porter and Sierra to get off the bus. I ask Porter, "How was school bud?"
His yells his answer with excitement, "SCHOOL... IS TOTALLY AWESOME! AND MOM LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT RECESS!!"
He holds up his little plastic bag, the wasp nest is still in there. But now there's something else in there. I look closely as Porter yells, "A BABY PRAYING MANTIS!!"
What a big day!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Reminding myself I've got it good.
Well, I'm going to get back into blogging after a long hiatus. Not that anyone really cares, but more for my own journaling and creative outletting sake.
I lay on the couch with my Ella in the crook of my armpit and my Porter at my feet. Exhausted from yet another night of insomnia I try and close my eyes. I even took a sleep aid last night to try and sleep better, but my Sierra came in at 5:00 am frozen with fear and sadness from a nightmare. I tell her to climb in bed. I scoot to the middle of the bed, sandwhiched between her and Jeremy. I know Jeremy needs his space , so I try and leave him his allotted space while I share my own with Sierra.
I remembered frightening nightmares as a child and knew how much it helped to be next to a fearless parent, I took compassion on Sierra. But it was definitely not helping with the insomnia. After 30 minutes of trying to get comfortable in the claustrophobic middle, I chance it and have Sierra switch places with me hoping she would still give Jeremy his space. I move to the very edge of the mattress. “Ah – that’s better,” and finally drift off to sleep.
I am awakened an hour later by a screaming Ella. In my mind I beg for more sleep, but I know it won’t happen. This is how it is every morning. I begin my morning routine of breakfast, dressing the kids, and getting Sierra off to school.
But let’s get back to the present. Now I am laying on the couch trying to close my eyes with Ella in the crook of my armpit and Porter at my feet. Porter wants me to prop up my knees so he can put a blanket over them and form a tent. Ella adjusts herself to be more comfortable and jams her elbow into my adams apple. Ouch! I get a whiff of her vomit from last night’s bout that still needs to be cleaned off her face. Apparently, I missed a spot. Then she starts to crawl on me and rams her knee into my chest. Another ouch…
Mother’s coexist every moment with their children, always aware of their every move. Keeping one eye open and the other succumbing to a rough night’s sleep. I guess a little bit like my grandpa’s stories from World War II. :)
Porter continues to build his tent. Thankfully, he has decided my legs don’t make a very sturdy structure and he moves a few feet away. Ella grabs the picture of Christ, Porter has been using it as an anchor for his tent (which is oddly symbolic). Ella looks at the picture and says, “Jee-Ju.”
I smile very happily, being a mom IS wonderful.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Turkey Tin-Foil Saga Part 2
If you have not read part 1 yet, you will need to scroll down the blog and read part 1.
In my last entry, Saturday February 13th, was the first day Kevin had not returned to our home in 10 days.
I am certain to be rid of her. After all - the tin-foil boundary frightened her away!
Sunday February 14th
No Kevin Again!
My confidence that my turkey tin-foil turmoil is gone, begins to grow!
Monday February 15th
Today I am visiting family about an hour away, but Jeremy is staying home to go to work.
I speak with him on the phone this evening.
"Oh-by the way, Kevin is back!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Like a dagger through the heart I begin feeling hopeless. Will I ever be rid of this deck-messing turkey? I plop my forehead into my hands with frustration and disgust.
How long will I have to look at turkey mess from my kitchen window? How long will I pull up the drapes every morning to see my daily fate of additional piles of mess? How long will I keep my kids from going outside in fear of stepping in turkey mess?
1 week?
1 month?
1 year?
Surely this had to end eventually, I think to myself. Surely she will get the clue we don't want her here! Won't she?
Tuesday February 16th - 21st
The days that ensue are filled with depression, frustration, tears, and alot of wasting time looking out my windows. (ok - I'm trying to dramatize the situation - work with me here.)
The tin-foil once strong and protecting has now been blown off the deck in some areas. Besides, Kevin no longer seems phased by it as I watch her saunter around the deck, not caring if she steps on the foil at all.
These days I resort to throwing snow shovels, more cups of water, lawn chairs, brooms, fire wood, and anything else lying around. I'm not trying to hit her, just trying to scare her. But the truth of the matter is, I secretly hope the objects accidentally hit her.
I know....
I've turned into a monster!!
Kevin actually takes a day off twice during this time.
I'm not sure if she's getting the clue or not.
But I'm pretty sure she's just torturing me with the false hope of ever having her out of my life and off our deck.
Monday February 22nd
Kevin, of course is back.
I continue to chase her away and throw random objects at her throughout the morning. She leaves for a short time but always returns. In the afternoon I catch her nuzzled right up next to our glass window door.
Rage bubbles up inside me. I think to myself, "if I open the door really quickly maybe I can scare her off for good." So I muster up all the nastiness, growliness, monsterous noise inside my throat possible and I come charging full-force out the door with the best war-time whooping and hollering I can make. I chase her and yell at her as if she will finally understand my disgust.
I look up and across the street. To my embarrassment I see a man trying to enjoy a lovely stroll, witnessing my whole tantrum!
What must he be thinking?
"What does she have against this intriguing creature anyway?"
"Wow! What a crazy raving lunatic woman!"
"I didn't know females could make such frightening displays of territorialism!"
"Poor, cute, little turkey - insane, heartless, women!"
I try to laugh it off, and yell to him, "Can you tell I'm frustrated with this turkey? She returns everyday to my house to poop all over my deck for the last two weeks!"
When he doesn't seem convinced that I am really a nice person, I simply surrender and apologize, "Sorry you had to witness that." And he keeps walking.
I MUST GET RID OF THIS TURKEY.
The passive attempts to keep her off my deck are not working. Denying her food in hopes she will give up, is not working.
I MUST somehow REMOVE her. Maybe if I pay someone enough money they will come and take her away.
Maybe if a put a bunch of food in the middle of the road....
No - I haven't completely morphed into a monster. That won't work.
Tuesday February 23rd
Jeremy has the day off today and we are Hell-Bent on getting rid of this turkey. We make a VERY bold move and clean off the deck for the first time in almost 3 weeks. Jeremy ties a rope around the outer edge of the deck. Turkeys only fly if they have to. So we are hoping she's lazy enough and won't fly over the rope. Jeremy suggests that I put up Tin-Foil again, "This time fold it in half and make a little legde."
So I get to work making a tin-foil ledge. All this tin-foil seems just hilarious to me. What must our neighbors be thinking of our new infatuation with decorating with tin-foil?
Not to my surprise - we run out of tin-foil. I guess you can only surround a 100ft perimeter deck with tin-foil so many times before you run out. Duh.
Kevin likes to look for food in our flower bed where we used to hang our bird feeder.
Enough seed has dropped that she continues to find it in the dirt. Maybe if we cover it she won't find food and will give up.
I try to cover it with plastic bags, but unless I gather 100 rocks to weigh them down, they'll blow away. I abandon this idea.
What if I could make the whole area really unpleasant to her with some sort of smell?
Toilet bowl cleaner can't be very appetizing to a turkey!!!!!
So I grab a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner and douse the entire area with cleaner.
I definitely wouldn't want to eat something covered in toilet bowl cleaner! I stand back and wait and watch. Here comes Kevin, back for more food. She approaches the seeded area and........ stoops down to find some seeds. She is not phased by the toilet bowl cleaner!
Now in fear that I am crossing the animal-cruelty threshold, I chase her away from the toxic area.
Another idea.
I'll just cover it with cardboard. No biggie. So I go get some huge pieces of cardboard and lay them down over the area.
Now our yard is decorated beautifully with tin-foil, cardboard, and rope media. Our neighbors must think we are the most creative people in the world!
Next-I go to the phone book. I call the first number in pest control I believe doesn't deal with just insects. Bingo! He deals with vertebrae pests he told me.
He's going to charge us about $100, but if he can bring a news crew with him it will be for free.
What the heck! We have to get a stinkn' news crew out to our house in order to get rid of this thing? Whatever. We agree to it.
He calls us back later and tells us the news crew is not interested in Kevin for their nightly story. BIG SURPRISE! We don't want to pay $100 to get it done, so we abandon this approach.
Finally, another idea!
Please let this one work!
"Why don't we just get a big box, put some food in it, trap Kevin, and haul her to Timbuktu, and leave her there?" I tell my brilliant idea to Jeremy. He'd had the idea too, so we decide this will be our final blow, our final battle!
Wednesday February 24th
Busy day, I didn't have time to go buy a big box so we are stuck with the regular chasing methods today.
Thursday February 25th
Jeremy has the day off again and I leave to run some errands. At 12:30 I come home and he says, "Kevin's in the box!"
"WHAT!!??? Just like that!"
"Yeah it wasn't that hard, I found a box in the garage, put some food in it, waited for Kevin to go in, then flipped the lid closed and taped it up."
I think I feel tears of joy coming on.
We put Kevin in the car and drive 20 minutes to a nice little pond in a canyon.
So that's how it ends folks!
But strangely enough as we drove away, I felt a little bit of emptiness in my soul.
What gives?
In my last entry, Saturday February 13th, was the first day Kevin had not returned to our home in 10 days.
I am certain to be rid of her. After all - the tin-foil boundary frightened her away!
Sunday February 14th
No Kevin Again!
My confidence that my turkey tin-foil turmoil is gone, begins to grow!
Monday February 15th
Today I am visiting family about an hour away, but Jeremy is staying home to go to work.
I speak with him on the phone this evening.
"Oh-by the way, Kevin is back!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Like a dagger through the heart I begin feeling hopeless. Will I ever be rid of this deck-messing turkey? I plop my forehead into my hands with frustration and disgust.
How long will I have to look at turkey mess from my kitchen window? How long will I pull up the drapes every morning to see my daily fate of additional piles of mess? How long will I keep my kids from going outside in fear of stepping in turkey mess?
1 week?
1 month?
1 year?
Surely this had to end eventually, I think to myself. Surely she will get the clue we don't want her here! Won't she?
Tuesday February 16th - 21st
The days that ensue are filled with depression, frustration, tears, and alot of wasting time looking out my windows. (ok - I'm trying to dramatize the situation - work with me here.)
The tin-foil once strong and protecting has now been blown off the deck in some areas. Besides, Kevin no longer seems phased by it as I watch her saunter around the deck, not caring if she steps on the foil at all.
These days I resort to throwing snow shovels, more cups of water, lawn chairs, brooms, fire wood, and anything else lying around. I'm not trying to hit her, just trying to scare her. But the truth of the matter is, I secretly hope the objects accidentally hit her.
I know....
I've turned into a monster!!
Kevin actually takes a day off twice during this time.
I'm not sure if she's getting the clue or not.
But I'm pretty sure she's just torturing me with the false hope of ever having her out of my life and off our deck.
Monday February 22nd
Kevin, of course is back.
I continue to chase her away and throw random objects at her throughout the morning. She leaves for a short time but always returns. In the afternoon I catch her nuzzled right up next to our glass window door.
Rage bubbles up inside me. I think to myself, "if I open the door really quickly maybe I can scare her off for good." So I muster up all the nastiness, growliness, monsterous noise inside my throat possible and I come charging full-force out the door with the best war-time whooping and hollering I can make. I chase her and yell at her as if she will finally understand my disgust.
I look up and across the street. To my embarrassment I see a man trying to enjoy a lovely stroll, witnessing my whole tantrum!
What must he be thinking?
"What does she have against this intriguing creature anyway?"
"Wow! What a crazy raving lunatic woman!"
"I didn't know females could make such frightening displays of territorialism!"
"Poor, cute, little turkey - insane, heartless, women!"
I try to laugh it off, and yell to him, "Can you tell I'm frustrated with this turkey? She returns everyday to my house to poop all over my deck for the last two weeks!"
When he doesn't seem convinced that I am really a nice person, I simply surrender and apologize, "Sorry you had to witness that." And he keeps walking.
I MUST GET RID OF THIS TURKEY.
The passive attempts to keep her off my deck are not working. Denying her food in hopes she will give up, is not working.
I MUST somehow REMOVE her. Maybe if I pay someone enough money they will come and take her away.
Maybe if a put a bunch of food in the middle of the road....
No - I haven't completely morphed into a monster. That won't work.
Tuesday February 23rd
Jeremy has the day off today and we are Hell-Bent on getting rid of this turkey. We make a VERY bold move and clean off the deck for the first time in almost 3 weeks. Jeremy ties a rope around the outer edge of the deck. Turkeys only fly if they have to. So we are hoping she's lazy enough and won't fly over the rope. Jeremy suggests that I put up Tin-Foil again, "This time fold it in half and make a little legde."
So I get to work making a tin-foil ledge. All this tin-foil seems just hilarious to me. What must our neighbors be thinking of our new infatuation with decorating with tin-foil?
Not to my surprise - we run out of tin-foil. I guess you can only surround a 100ft perimeter deck with tin-foil so many times before you run out. Duh.
Kevin likes to look for food in our flower bed where we used to hang our bird feeder.
Enough seed has dropped that she continues to find it in the dirt. Maybe if we cover it she won't find food and will give up.
I try to cover it with plastic bags, but unless I gather 100 rocks to weigh them down, they'll blow away. I abandon this idea.
What if I could make the whole area really unpleasant to her with some sort of smell?
Toilet bowl cleaner can't be very appetizing to a turkey!!!!!
So I grab a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner and douse the entire area with cleaner.
I definitely wouldn't want to eat something covered in toilet bowl cleaner! I stand back and wait and watch. Here comes Kevin, back for more food. She approaches the seeded area and........ stoops down to find some seeds. She is not phased by the toilet bowl cleaner!
Now in fear that I am crossing the animal-cruelty threshold, I chase her away from the toxic area.
Another idea.
I'll just cover it with cardboard. No biggie. So I go get some huge pieces of cardboard and lay them down over the area.
Now our yard is decorated beautifully with tin-foil, cardboard, and rope media. Our neighbors must think we are the most creative people in the world!
Next-I go to the phone book. I call the first number in pest control I believe doesn't deal with just insects. Bingo! He deals with vertebrae pests he told me.
He's going to charge us about $100, but if he can bring a news crew with him it will be for free.
What the heck! We have to get a stinkn' news crew out to our house in order to get rid of this thing? Whatever. We agree to it.
He calls us back later and tells us the news crew is not interested in Kevin for their nightly story. BIG SURPRISE! We don't want to pay $100 to get it done, so we abandon this approach.
Finally, another idea!
Please let this one work!
"Why don't we just get a big box, put some food in it, trap Kevin, and haul her to Timbuktu, and leave her there?" I tell my brilliant idea to Jeremy. He'd had the idea too, so we decide this will be our final blow, our final battle!
Wednesday February 24th
Busy day, I didn't have time to go buy a big box so we are stuck with the regular chasing methods today.
Thursday February 25th
Jeremy has the day off again and I leave to run some errands. At 12:30 I come home and he says, "Kevin's in the box!"
"WHAT!!??? Just like that!"
"Yeah it wasn't that hard, I found a box in the garage, put some food in it, waited for Kevin to go in, then flipped the lid closed and taped it up."
I think I feel tears of joy coming on.
We put Kevin in the car and drive 20 minutes to a nice little pond in a canyon.
So that's how it ends folks!
But strangely enough as we drove away, I felt a little bit of emptiness in my soul.
What gives?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Turkeys are not Afraid of Tin Foil
What you are about to read is a true story.
The following events actually happened to real people.
Although names may have been changed to protect the innocent, these events are real.
Thursday, February 4th aprox. 3:00 PM
A wild turkey wanders into our backyard.
Seemingly cute and cuddly, we feed her some bird seed.
We are shocked to see how friendly she is.
Traffic behind our house is stopping to admire her.
In the evening she leaves and we think "what a nice turkey to come visit us."
Friday, February 5th
We awake to find we are again graced with her noble presence.
The kids give her a name, Kevin, in honor of the bird in the movie UP.
She sun bathes on our back deck.
Then she *%$#@ on our back deck, several times.
Suddenly, she is not so noble a bird. Bad Kevin!
Then she is gone for a few minutes and we wonder how she disappeared so quickly. I walk out into my garage and there she is on top of Jeremy's car!
Now, let's consider this for a moment...
You do not truly know Jeremy until you know how well he likes to take care of his cars. (And that's putting it gently.)
Words are being yelled, "!!The last thing in the whole wide world I need to worry about, is having a turkey on top of my car with it's big claws!!"
This is when EVERYTHING changes.
We chase the turkey off and she is gone.
Saturday, February 6th
"Kevin's back Mom!" is the phrase I awake to.
Kevin has left us many more "noble presents" on our deck.
We decide to call the Nature Center. Their advice to us, "Don't feed the bird and she will eventually give up and leave."
But I can't worry about it today because Sierra is getting baptized and I'm having more than 20 people over for dinner later.
Jeremy is excited to take Christmas lights down today, and Kevin follows us around like a little puppy while we remove our lights.
After our dinner guests are entertained by our self-imposing turkey, we wage an incessant chasing campaign on the turkey... a brutal three-pronged attack - Jeremy, Sierra, and Porter.
She leaves... for now.
We also leave for an impromptu overnight-er to our family's house to celebrate the great American holiday of Superbowl.
Sunday February 7th 9PM
We return home.
There is no Kevin, but then again, she is usually gone at night.
Monday February 8th 8AM
"Mom, Kevin's back!"
The sun is up and we realize Kevin has missed us while we were gone, and has left many "reminders" for us.
This morning I have inappropriate words running through my head. And maybe even a few running out my mouth.
Today we run another aggressive chasing campaign and Kevin leaves us in the early afternoon.
Tuesday February 9th
Kevin is back with us.
This too shall pass.
Suddenly, I have a break-through idea!
Whenever our cat chooses an undesirable lounging spot, we cover it with tin-foil and he stays away.
Will tin-foil repel a turkey?
Kevin likes to rest on our deck's doormats.
Maybe if she doesn't have anywhere to rest she'll stay off our deck. I have made a compromise, just stay off the deck, you don't have to leave, just quit crappin' on the deck!
I lay the tinfoil down over the mats and it works!!!!! Kind of. She doesn't sit and rest on our mats, but she still does her other business.
Wednesday and Thursday February 10th, and 11th
You guessed it. Just a couple ordinary days with a wild turkey in our backyard.
Friday February 12th
The tin-foil has worked beautifully in keeping Kevin off the doormats for the last three days and my mind composes another idea.
What if I lay tin-foil down around the ENTIRE 100-foot perimeter of my deck??
Sounds crazy I know, but it just might be crazy enough to work!!
I get to work rolling out tin-foil and taping it to the perimeter of my deck.
I am giddy as a mad-scientist who has just discovered a route to world-domination!!
I finish off my shiny-yet-scary-turkey-barrier and I wait...
Kevin approaches the deck and seems very timid. I can tell on her face she knows something is wrong. She paces over each edge of our deck looking for an opening. She finds none. She decides to take a risk and jumps onto the edge of the deck, careful not to touch the tin-foil. She inspects the tin-foil, surrenders, and hops down!!
VICTORY!!!!!!!!
I begin dancing around the house basking in the glory and triumph of my success in outwitting this annoying, messy, clueless, belligerent turkey!!
I am the champion! Tin-foil is my new favorite product that you can buy in the paper product isle at Wal-Mart!
I'm so excited I call my dad and tell him the good news. I am the woman!!
A few hours pass and I keep my eye on Kevin just to watch her crumble under the terror of the tin-foil.
Kevin pecks around the yard like a little lost puppy. But, just as all creatures adapt so does Kevin...
She finds a new spot. On top of our air conditioner. Not knowing how bird mess will effect my AC, I try putting tin-foil on the air conditioner, but strangely enough - this does not deter her. Hmmmmmmmm. Next, I set out a large laundry basket on top of our AC, but she just sits and pecks at it annoyingly. The AC sits just outside one of our living room windows. I have another brilliant idea. I fill up a 520z cup of cold water, open the window and throw the water at her. She doesn't like this one bit. After repeating this 3 times she stays off and a few minutes later leaves our house completely for the day.
I again feel a sense of triumph.
Saturday February 13th
After visiting us for 10 days, this morning is the first day Kevin does not return to our home. I feel like a free women.
But little did I know... I was only half-way through the war.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting conclusion.
The following events actually happened to real people.
Although names may have been changed to protect the innocent, these events are real.
Thursday, February 4th aprox. 3:00 PM
A wild turkey wanders into our backyard.
Seemingly cute and cuddly, we feed her some bird seed.
We are shocked to see how friendly she is.
Traffic behind our house is stopping to admire her.
In the evening she leaves and we think "what a nice turkey to come visit us."
Friday, February 5th
We awake to find we are again graced with her noble presence.
The kids give her a name, Kevin, in honor of the bird in the movie UP.
She sun bathes on our back deck.
Then she *%$#@ on our back deck, several times.
Suddenly, she is not so noble a bird. Bad Kevin!
Then she is gone for a few minutes and we wonder how she disappeared so quickly. I walk out into my garage and there she is on top of Jeremy's car!
Now, let's consider this for a moment...
You do not truly know Jeremy until you know how well he likes to take care of his cars. (And that's putting it gently.)
Words are being yelled, "!!The last thing in the whole wide world I need to worry about, is having a turkey on top of my car with it's big claws!!"
This is when EVERYTHING changes.
We chase the turkey off and she is gone.
Saturday, February 6th
"Kevin's back Mom!" is the phrase I awake to.
Kevin has left us many more "noble presents" on our deck.
We decide to call the Nature Center. Their advice to us, "Don't feed the bird and she will eventually give up and leave."
But I can't worry about it today because Sierra is getting baptized and I'm having more than 20 people over for dinner later.
Jeremy is excited to take Christmas lights down today, and Kevin follows us around like a little puppy while we remove our lights.
After our dinner guests are entertained by our self-imposing turkey, we wage an incessant chasing campaign on the turkey... a brutal three-pronged attack - Jeremy, Sierra, and Porter.
She leaves... for now.
We also leave for an impromptu overnight-er to our family's house to celebrate the great American holiday of Superbowl.
Sunday February 7th 9PM
We return home.
There is no Kevin, but then again, she is usually gone at night.
Monday February 8th 8AM
"Mom, Kevin's back!"
The sun is up and we realize Kevin has missed us while we were gone, and has left many "reminders" for us.
This morning I have inappropriate words running through my head. And maybe even a few running out my mouth.
Today we run another aggressive chasing campaign and Kevin leaves us in the early afternoon.
Tuesday February 9th
Kevin is back with us.
This too shall pass.
Suddenly, I have a break-through idea!
Whenever our cat chooses an undesirable lounging spot, we cover it with tin-foil and he stays away.
Will tin-foil repel a turkey?
Kevin likes to rest on our deck's doormats.
Maybe if she doesn't have anywhere to rest she'll stay off our deck. I have made a compromise, just stay off the deck, you don't have to leave, just quit crappin' on the deck!
I lay the tinfoil down over the mats and it works!!!!! Kind of. She doesn't sit and rest on our mats, but she still does her other business.
Wednesday and Thursday February 10th, and 11th
You guessed it. Just a couple ordinary days with a wild turkey in our backyard.
Friday February 12th
The tin-foil has worked beautifully in keeping Kevin off the doormats for the last three days and my mind composes another idea.
What if I lay tin-foil down around the ENTIRE 100-foot perimeter of my deck??
Sounds crazy I know, but it just might be crazy enough to work!!
I get to work rolling out tin-foil and taping it to the perimeter of my deck.
I am giddy as a mad-scientist who has just discovered a route to world-domination!!
I finish off my shiny-yet-scary-turkey-barrier and I wait...
Kevin approaches the deck and seems very timid. I can tell on her face she knows something is wrong. She paces over each edge of our deck looking for an opening. She finds none. She decides to take a risk and jumps onto the edge of the deck, careful not to touch the tin-foil. She inspects the tin-foil, surrenders, and hops down!!
VICTORY!!!!!!!!
I begin dancing around the house basking in the glory and triumph of my success in outwitting this annoying, messy, clueless, belligerent turkey!!
I am the champion! Tin-foil is my new favorite product that you can buy in the paper product isle at Wal-Mart!
I'm so excited I call my dad and tell him the good news. I am the woman!!
A few hours pass and I keep my eye on Kevin just to watch her crumble under the terror of the tin-foil.
Kevin pecks around the yard like a little lost puppy. But, just as all creatures adapt so does Kevin...
She finds a new spot. On top of our air conditioner. Not knowing how bird mess will effect my AC, I try putting tin-foil on the air conditioner, but strangely enough - this does not deter her. Hmmmmmmmm. Next, I set out a large laundry basket on top of our AC, but she just sits and pecks at it annoyingly. The AC sits just outside one of our living room windows. I have another brilliant idea. I fill up a 520z cup of cold water, open the window and throw the water at her. She doesn't like this one bit. After repeating this 3 times she stays off and a few minutes later leaves our house completely for the day.
I again feel a sense of triumph.
Saturday February 13th
After visiting us for 10 days, this morning is the first day Kevin does not return to our home. I feel like a free women.
But little did I know... I was only half-way through the war.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting conclusion.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Happy Halloween, Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's Day
(Oh - and President's Day too)
Apparently, I'm destined to continually be catching up with this blog. Heck - why not. Seems like that's how it is with every other aspect of my life.
Laundry, dishes, balancing checkbooks, showering (Ok - a little too much info??)
(just kidding... I never fall behind on the laundry)
So in one post I must cover Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, Valentines Day and President's Day!
Get Ready.
Halloween.
Sierra wanted to dress up as Ahsoka Tano (for all of you kid culture deprived people that is the warrior princess in Stars Wars the Clone Wars movie) Come to think of it, I'm not certain Sierra has even seen that movie, so don't ask me how she got the idea.
I'm not sure which task was more difficult - learning to pronounce the characters name correctly or making the costume.
Porter's costume idea changed daily through the whole month of September and October. Some of those ideas were quite abstract, but in the end we went for the no fail Mummy costume. It turned out pretty cute though.
Jeremy was extremely proud of his Nitanny Lion Jack-o-Lantern. (Make no mistake where our alliances lie.)
Next up... Christmas.
My goodness - what a wonderful wonderful time we all had this year! Jeremy's family (but unfortunately Papa couldn't make it) spent Christmas at our house this year.
There were 19 of us including 2 babies, 4 children, 3 teenagers, 2 newlyweds, 6 adults, and 2 "senior aged" people. Also 2 dogs, one lizard, and 1 cat. (okay so the lizard didn't really add much to the craziness.)
We spent our time skiing, sipping hot chocolate, cooking, EATING, shopping, sledding, hiking, Christmas light enjoying, Christmas story reading, sing-a-longing, Screwy-Lueying, hospital touring, giving, and getting. But most of all laughing! I just loved every minute of it.
I never tire of rehashing all the classic family stories, and even creating a few new ones... Kaiden you know what I'm talking about...
One of the greatest family stories includes the origination of the tradition of passing along the famous adult footed pink pajamas to the next anxious female in the family.
With 19 people, and the various gifts under the tree, it seemed as though Christmas really WOULD last forever!
Next up.. New Year's
Since we partied all night long and many awesome things happened, there is a ton to say about this....
Okay, just kidding - Jeremy went to work (for the 4th year in a row) and I watched Rockin' New Year's Eve with Ryan Seacrest or something like that with the kids.
There's always next year
Which brings us to Valentine's Day
We celebrated it with a heart shaped pizza on Saturday and on Sunday I left Jeremy to go visit my parents. (VERY ROMANTIC huh.) Actually, my sister and her kids are in town from CA so I had a good excuse to abandon him.
(Note: a separate post on my interesting hair color will be coming later)
Finally, Happy President's Day.
So - today is President's Day, and I'm not really sure what sentiments to say about it, except that it happens to be the day I'm posting this blog so I couldn't just IGNORE it now could I? That would be rude.
Apparently, I'm destined to continually be catching up with this blog. Heck - why not. Seems like that's how it is with every other aspect of my life.
Laundry, dishes, balancing checkbooks, showering (Ok - a little too much info??)
(just kidding... I never fall behind on the laundry)
So in one post I must cover Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, Valentines Day and President's Day!
Get Ready.
Halloween.
Sierra wanted to dress up as Ahsoka Tano (for all of you kid culture deprived people that is the warrior princess in Stars Wars the Clone Wars movie) Come to think of it, I'm not certain Sierra has even seen that movie, so don't ask me how she got the idea.
I'm not sure which task was more difficult - learning to pronounce the characters name correctly or making the costume.
Porter's costume idea changed daily through the whole month of September and October. Some of those ideas were quite abstract, but in the end we went for the no fail Mummy costume. It turned out pretty cute though.
Jeremy was extremely proud of his Nitanny Lion Jack-o-Lantern. (Make no mistake where our alliances lie.)
Next up... Christmas.
My goodness - what a wonderful wonderful time we all had this year! Jeremy's family (but unfortunately Papa couldn't make it) spent Christmas at our house this year.
There were 19 of us including 2 babies, 4 children, 3 teenagers, 2 newlyweds, 6 adults, and 2 "senior aged" people. Also 2 dogs, one lizard, and 1 cat. (okay so the lizard didn't really add much to the craziness.)
We spent our time skiing, sipping hot chocolate, cooking, EATING, shopping, sledding, hiking, Christmas light enjoying, Christmas story reading, sing-a-longing, Screwy-Lueying, hospital touring, giving, and getting. But most of all laughing! I just loved every minute of it.
I never tire of rehashing all the classic family stories, and even creating a few new ones... Kaiden you know what I'm talking about...
One of the greatest family stories includes the origination of the tradition of passing along the famous adult footed pink pajamas to the next anxious female in the family.
With 19 people, and the various gifts under the tree, it seemed as though Christmas really WOULD last forever!
Next up.. New Year's
Since we partied all night long and many awesome things happened, there is a ton to say about this....
Okay, just kidding - Jeremy went to work (for the 4th year in a row) and I watched Rockin' New Year's Eve with Ryan Seacrest or something like that with the kids.
There's always next year
Which brings us to Valentine's Day
We celebrated it with a heart shaped pizza on Saturday and on Sunday I left Jeremy to go visit my parents. (VERY ROMANTIC huh.) Actually, my sister and her kids are in town from CA so I had a good excuse to abandon him.
(Note: a separate post on my interesting hair color will be coming later)
Finally, Happy President's Day.
So - today is President's Day, and I'm not really sure what sentiments to say about it, except that it happens to be the day I'm posting this blog so I couldn't just IGNORE it now could I? That would be rude.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Sometimes being a mom is just plain gross!
Although I've always wanted to be a mommmy.
Although I try to always put my children's needs ahead of my own.
Although I love being a mommy.
Sometimes, being a mom is ...just plain gross...
Take today for example....
This morning Porter's first words to me are:
"Mommy, Lizzy pooped in my room."
(Lizzy is our pet Lizard - don't you love our original name?)
I answered: "You didn't try to clean it up by yourself did you?"
Thank goodness he hadn't. So I'm cleaning up lizard poop.
...gross...
Then I have to feed the Lizard and open her container of 500 crawly mealworms and tweeze 12-15 worms onto her plate.
...gross...
Ella had 3 poopy diapers before 2pm (not even diarrhea just regular poops, not sure why she was so productive today)
...gross...
Ella has a little cough and on the way to the movies tonight Ella got coughing and majorly threw up all over herself. Rather than disappoint the kids, I undressed Ella and put her in Sierra's jacket and we pressed on to the show.
Throughout the 1 hour and 21 minute long movie I could smell a hint of barf in the air.
...gross...
Ella must be allergic to her car seat because she began coughing again and threw up 3 times on the way home. Now, I know she enjoyed her soda pop and popcorn.
...gross...
When we get home, I have to unbuckle her amidst the puddles of "sweetness", undress her again, remove her car seat from the car, clean barf from the car floor, pickup the coats that were on the floor in front of her when she barfed, and wash them.
...gross...
I have yet to unpeel her car seat cover off and throw it into the laundry, but I'm sure it will be...
...gross...
To all the moms out there who sometimes have to do just plain gross things in the name of being a mommy, (Including my sister who was recovering from a lice invasion for weeks.) My hat is off to you all!!!
From snotty noses, to barf, to poop and pee (from children and their pets), may we all cherish the moments that make being a mommy worth it.
Although I try to always put my children's needs ahead of my own.
Although I love being a mommy.
Sometimes, being a mom is ...just plain gross...
Take today for example....
This morning Porter's first words to me are:
"Mommy, Lizzy pooped in my room."
(Lizzy is our pet Lizard - don't you love our original name?)
I answered: "You didn't try to clean it up by yourself did you?"
Thank goodness he hadn't. So I'm cleaning up lizard poop.
...gross...
Then I have to feed the Lizard and open her container of 500 crawly mealworms and tweeze 12-15 worms onto her plate.
...gross...
Ella had 3 poopy diapers before 2pm (not even diarrhea just regular poops, not sure why she was so productive today)
...gross...
Ella has a little cough and on the way to the movies tonight Ella got coughing and majorly threw up all over herself. Rather than disappoint the kids, I undressed Ella and put her in Sierra's jacket and we pressed on to the show.
Throughout the 1 hour and 21 minute long movie I could smell a hint of barf in the air.
...gross...
Ella must be allergic to her car seat because she began coughing again and threw up 3 times on the way home. Now, I know she enjoyed her soda pop and popcorn.
...gross...
When we get home, I have to unbuckle her amidst the puddles of "sweetness", undress her again, remove her car seat from the car, clean barf from the car floor, pickup the coats that were on the floor in front of her when she barfed, and wash them.
...gross...
I have yet to unpeel her car seat cover off and throw it into the laundry, but I'm sure it will be...
...gross...
To all the moms out there who sometimes have to do just plain gross things in the name of being a mommy, (Including my sister who was recovering from a lice invasion for weeks.) My hat is off to you all!!!
From snotty noses, to barf, to poop and pee (from children and their pets), may we all cherish the moments that make being a mommy worth it.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
October Trip to Iowa
Obviously I'm still playing catch up since I'm writing about an October event in January. All I can say is, thank heaven November was boring as can be, that will help me catch up on my blog history.
In mid-October we took a road trip out to Iowa to visit Jeremy's family (Papa, Shelly and family, and Cody)
We over-nighted in Laramie, Wyoming and drove straight to Kaiden's football game, stopping only to fill up our tanks and empty our other tanks :)
Fall was in full swing and the huge trees around Chris and Shelly's house provided for tons of inexpensive entertainment.
First, we would look out the 2 story windows and watch the leaves fall like rain. Then we would rake them or leaf-blow them. Finally, we would jump in them. Endless entertainment.
Let's talk a little about me discovering my hidden passion for leaf-blowing. Have you ever used a leaf blower before? MAN - it is FUN!!
I plugged that baby in and I was in my own little leaf blowing world. The hum of the motor, the dancing of leaves .... **sigh** And when I had cleared a patch of leaves, I felt immense satisfaction. I found myself saying to myself, "Ok, I'll quit after I clear just this one little area of lawn." But once I'd cleared the area I just couldn't stop. I was addicted to leaf blowing. Finally, Jeremy made me come in for dinner.
All I could think of through dinner was getting out there and clearing more leaves!!! I was lucky, because the sun was setting and I was able to use that as an excuse to resume my leaf-blowing activities immediately after dinner.
The following day it rained and I was unable to leaf-blow. :(
Besides leaves, there was another theme for our Iowa trip
***CATS***
Or better entitled ***Porter and Cats***
Chris and Shelly have two cats. One is a black cat named "Sunshine" (go figure) and the other is an orange and black cat named "Flash." Porter became obsessed with these cats. And you can only comprehend the deepness of the word "obsessed" if you truly know Porter.
Those poor cats never had a clue what was coming to them. Porter would wake up and hunt them down, rub his face against them, taunt them with string and other toys, and then torture them as much as the adults would let him get away with before being put into time-out. Then he would repeat, until it was time for eating or bedtime.
One particular morning he was experimenting (torturing) with the cats in Chris and Shelly's room. Little did he know that Aunt Shelly was still snuggled in bed watching his every move. Porter would pick up Flash and throw him towards Sunshine to try and get Sunshine to hiss at Flash (or something like that.) He repeated this several times until he heard Aunt Shelly's convicting voice from behind the covers, "Porter.. what are you doing."
Again, if you know Porter well, you also know he can be a pathological liar. Apparently, he is also a very quick thinker.
With outstretched arms, he dropped the kitty and continued extending his arms and replied, "I'm stretching my arms" Nice cover up kid.
So, the cat issue literally dominated our trip. But it didn't end with Chris and Shelly's house. We went to visit Uncle Cody and not only did HE have cats also, but he had THREE, (count 'em 1,2,3) KITTENS. Well, the intensity and obsession was just exponentially increased with those cute lovable, soft, kittens!
This is turning into a long post, but the other highlights of our trip included:
*Watching Kaiden's football game.
*Going to Reiman Gardens
*Playing with science at the science center in Des Moines
*Eating breakfast at a quaint restaurant in Plymouth, Iowa
*Eating an early Thanksgiving Dinner at Cody's house.
*Watching college football
In mid-October we took a road trip out to Iowa to visit Jeremy's family (Papa, Shelly and family, and Cody)
We over-nighted in Laramie, Wyoming and drove straight to Kaiden's football game, stopping only to fill up our tanks and empty our other tanks :)
Fall was in full swing and the huge trees around Chris and Shelly's house provided for tons of inexpensive entertainment.
First, we would look out the 2 story windows and watch the leaves fall like rain. Then we would rake them or leaf-blow them. Finally, we would jump in them. Endless entertainment.
Let's talk a little about me discovering my hidden passion for leaf-blowing. Have you ever used a leaf blower before? MAN - it is FUN!!
I plugged that baby in and I was in my own little leaf blowing world. The hum of the motor, the dancing of leaves .... **sigh** And when I had cleared a patch of leaves, I felt immense satisfaction. I found myself saying to myself, "Ok, I'll quit after I clear just this one little area of lawn." But once I'd cleared the area I just couldn't stop. I was addicted to leaf blowing. Finally, Jeremy made me come in for dinner.
All I could think of through dinner was getting out there and clearing more leaves!!! I was lucky, because the sun was setting and I was able to use that as an excuse to resume my leaf-blowing activities immediately after dinner.
The following day it rained and I was unable to leaf-blow. :(
Besides leaves, there was another theme for our Iowa trip
***CATS***
Or better entitled ***Porter and Cats***
Chris and Shelly have two cats. One is a black cat named "Sunshine" (go figure) and the other is an orange and black cat named "Flash." Porter became obsessed with these cats. And you can only comprehend the deepness of the word "obsessed" if you truly know Porter.
Those poor cats never had a clue what was coming to them. Porter would wake up and hunt them down, rub his face against them, taunt them with string and other toys, and then torture them as much as the adults would let him get away with before being put into time-out. Then he would repeat, until it was time for eating or bedtime.
One particular morning he was experimenting (torturing) with the cats in Chris and Shelly's room. Little did he know that Aunt Shelly was still snuggled in bed watching his every move. Porter would pick up Flash and throw him towards Sunshine to try and get Sunshine to hiss at Flash (or something like that.) He repeated this several times until he heard Aunt Shelly's convicting voice from behind the covers, "Porter.. what are you doing."
Again, if you know Porter well, you also know he can be a pathological liar. Apparently, he is also a very quick thinker.
With outstretched arms, he dropped the kitty and continued extending his arms and replied, "I'm stretching my arms" Nice cover up kid.
So, the cat issue literally dominated our trip. But it didn't end with Chris and Shelly's house. We went to visit Uncle Cody and not only did HE have cats also, but he had THREE, (count 'em 1,2,3) KITTENS. Well, the intensity and obsession was just exponentially increased with those cute lovable, soft, kittens!
This is turning into a long post, but the other highlights of our trip included:
*Watching Kaiden's football game.
*Going to Reiman Gardens
*Playing with science at the science center in Des Moines
*Eating breakfast at a quaint restaurant in Plymouth, Iowa
*Eating an early Thanksgiving Dinner at Cody's house.
*Watching college football
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