I'm a GOOD parent gosh darnit!

WARNING: Long post, but it's worth it...

Just when I think Porter has done it all he comes up with a day like last Thursday, blowing me away.

This morning I was running late and Sierra was going to miss the bus. Porter was watching the Disney Channel so I told him to stay here and I was going to be right back.

Well, I made two mistakes.

First - I left Porter at home by himself (even though I was going to be gone for like 3 minutes – and I was only going to the bus stop around the corner)

Second - I got too chatty with my “bus-stop mom” friend Nila.

Well – after about 15 minutes (oops) we realized we were being too chatty and she walked me home.

On the way to my house we passed a police car in the street and a couple of neighbors

My heart began to get really nervous.

There was a police man outside my house with Porter. Apparently, Porter didn’t hear me when I said I was going to the bus-stop, he got worried, went outside crying in the street, “Where’s my Mommy and Daddy?” a neighbor came out, (one I don’t know – they are new) didn’t know who he was, called the cops, the cops got there lickety-split (since there are a million cops in Marana there is never one very far away), and I get busted for being too chatty at the bus-stop.

I felt humiliated and like the worst parent in the world. I thought it was only going to be like 2 minutes and besides I was just around the corner at the bus-stop – why do I feel so stinking guilty?

Am I just way too laid back of a parent or did I really screw up?? – maybe a little of each

I’m sorry people I’m sorry!

But the police man was very understanding when I told him what happened

So I decided I’d better give Porter extra good Mommy attention, so he wouldn’t ever think that I would run away from him again.

We went exploring together in the desert with Ella and I let him lead the way – we went where ever he wanted to go on the trails beside our house. Ahhhh- I felt like a good mom again.

Then I get a call from the school nurse that Sierra is not feeling well – I’m very suspicious the girl is playing hooky, but I end up bringing her home anyway.

Now, I have to run errands……

The fabric store……..

THE worst place to have to run errands with 3 little kids by yourself.

Porter is saying he deserves a treat for being so good. I’m tired of him saying this every time we go into a store, and I rebel – “no more treats!” I don’t care if you’re an angel.

I’m tired of my kids expecting they need a treat or some sort of reward every time they do something good.

Here I am trying to be a “good parent” – no spankings, no yelling, let’s do “positive reinforcement” Now I’m starting to believe this strategy is backfiring a little and creating spoiled children – what gives????

So after I tell him he can’t have a treat because he HASN’T been very good (he had been climbing on the fabric displays) he throws a fit in the store.

“Ok – keep cool – you’re a good parent,” I say to myself. Then I proceed to tell him in a calm voice why he cannot have a treat, all the while hoping that the store clerk will think what a wonderful, patient mother I am to this cute but energetic little boy.

Now I’m thinking “Why should I even give a rat’s behind about the store clerk’s opinion of my parenting techniques.” I mean really – does it matter what she thinks?

Maybe this stemmed from the whole “Cops coming to my house” thing this morning and I am determined to prove to the world that I AM a good parent!

Then after buying my piece of fabric I am on my way out the store when Sierra tells me “Mom Porter has some candy in his pocket!”

Sheesh Kid!!!!!!! Can you cause me to feel anymore like a criminal today? I quickly return the candy to its wrong spot in the store (guilt) and leave the store feeling very self-conscious.

Aggghh!

We get home and he is in his room and Ella is playing in there also.

Minutes later I hear Ella crying and Sierra comes out to let me know that Porter is pouring water on Ella’s head.

I enter, and cute innocent Ella’s head is soaked and I find one end of a rope tethered around her neck and the other end tethered around his bed post.

“Porter, it’s dangerous to wrap anything around someone’s neck, even if you are pretending they are a dog.”

Let’s just say – the early bedtime was a welcome consequence for Mommy.

And I have decided I’m not going to wait 10 years to laugh about today – I’m going to laugh hysterically… right now. Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee Hee Hee Ha Ha Hee.

Guess what, I can pick my boogers with my tongue!

...From the mouths of little boys. I was volunteering in Sierra's class today and having the kids pass off their reading books. In walks a little boy named Thomas and proudly boasts, "Guess what, I can pick my boogers with my tongue!" To say his declaration caught me off guard would be an understatement. Random times such as these are when I am grateful to my Father for creating little children, whether they are cute and shy or quirky and blunt, and I'm especially grateful for the opportunity I have to be constantly surrounded by them, in one way or another! And remember... we cannot enter the kingdom of God unless we become as a little child. (Does that mean I have to learn how to pick my boogers with my tongue?)

The madness of Porter

The most entertaining thing I have to write about concerns the business of my sweet boy Porter.

*we've had to turn his bedroom doorknob around to lock him in so he'll sleep. We unscrew his light bulb each night so he will go to sleep.
*Despite the 4+ models of child proof door knobs we've tried, he escapes out the front door frequently. Finally we mounted a hotel chain to the top of the door. This holds him inside for now.
*We had to put a padlock on our gate because he was climbing up and unlatching it and going out front with out my knowledge. Now he just scales the gate and over he goes. Still workin' on that one.
*My neighbor said he was ringing on their doorbell one morning at 6AM! My other neighbor said he climbed our wall into their back yard (which has a pool and 3 huge dogs! AGGHH) Also he has just walked into their house too.
*He climb over our back cement wall and into the desert. I had no idea what was going on. (this is when I was prego and throwing up in bed all the time) One morning at about 8am the doorbell rings and a strange man with many tattoos is there with Porter asking me if he was mine. He said Porter was on his back wall (apparently it wasn't as tall as ours to climb back over.) But he'd called the cops saying he found this kid and didn't know who he belonged to, so not to worry if the cops came by!
*We have put a different locking doorknob on the pantry, as pantry raids are old hap.
*I have cleaned up a tube of lipstick, a tube of toothpaste, a bottle of bubble bath, shredded wet toilet paper, four bottles of food coloring, a bottle of craft glue, piles of cat food, lots of urine (non accidental), and countless other messes off the carpet.

Sometimes I ask myself why I still love him sooooooooo much. Then I picture those ultra-big brown eyes and freckles on his nose and all my madness and frusteration melts away....... at least until it's time to clean up the next mess in about another hour or so.